Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Insecure Writer's to the Rescue

Today is a great day for having an intervention on myself, I'm lucky it is the first wednesday of the month. Those of you who have visited before know I'm usually positive and try to be uplifting in my posts but today I'm feeling down and I just want to let it all come out of my chest.

Yesterday I received a rejection letter from Shock Totem making it five rejection mails hanging on my inbox for two different stories. I know, I'm a wimp. Many people go through years of rejection before hitting the gold vein. I know, but it just does't help. I've been thinking hard about my career as a writer and I only have a short story published in an anthology and a novel. Not much to call it a career. My family keeps trying to make me feel better by stressing how many writers out there wished to have at least one pieced published, and I'm really happy and proud of that, but I can't hide behind my only two successes. I need to have more. I need to write more, I need to be better, and I need to have more time.

In two years I've written eight stories, two of them are out there being constantly rejected and the other six need a lot of work to be really finished. That's all I've done and I can't help but feel it is way too little. I've been concentrating so much on my blog trying to connect with other writers and readers, but now that I think about it, I don't really have much to offer. How depressing.

Don't worry too much for me though. I'm not one to sulk forever and I'm giving me until today for feeling sorry for myself. Then I'll start looking for new places where I can submit. But, when do you know a piece is dead? When do you know it will never happen for that specific story and move on? Those questions torture me and as off now I'm thinking of sending those stories to a couple more places. If they get rejected again, then that's it. I'm pulling the plug on them and moving to the next stories.

I've also decided that I won't dedicate as much time to blogging. When april is gone and with it the craziness of the A to Z challenge, I'll dedicate much more time to reviewing for Dark River Press (that means, to read more) and to finish my second novel. Those are my priorities and I have to concentrate on that or I will never be anything more than a two-time-published author.

I hope your month is going a lot better than mine and I hope next month I will be the happy-go-lucky gal I'm used to be. In the meantime, thanks for reading and caring.

To get awesome advise from other fellow insecure writers click here.


Suze said...

I'd never heard the phrase, 'hit a gold vein,' before. I like that.

You might want to pop round to Hektor Karl's blog, today. Will make you feel less alone.

Chin up, esteemed Gina.

Gina said...

Thanks Suze! It is a beautiful and inspiring post indeed. I enjoyed it very much.=)

Hektor Karl said...

Good luck with your submissions! You seem headed in the right direction. :)

And thanks to Suze for the mention.

Gina said...

Thanks for the support and good wishes, I hope one day sooner than later there will be good news to share. =)

Chris Fries said...

I'm still new enough at trying to be published that I share your pain! Rejection sucks -- there's no denying it. I've yet to get anything more than some micro-flash pieces "published." But I keep getting positive, personalized feedback along with my rejections, so I guess that's a positive sign that I'm on the right track.

So while I can't offer any first-hand experiences about being published, I CAN totally relate to your post. And yet I think I can still offer some thoughts that may help:

-- You have to ask yourself: WHY are you writing? I write because I enjoy writing. I want to improve and grow as a writer, but my main positive reinforcement is my own enjoyment and reward in the act of creation. And quite frankly I HAVE to write, even if no-one ever reads a word I create. But if I judge my "success" as a writer by publication and huge readership, I'm surrendering my artistic fulfillment to things beyond my control. My "success" is measured by: Did I complete what I started, and did I improve, learn, and grow as a writer over what I had written before? Getting it published (if it ever happens) is them just icing on the cake.

-- There's nothing wrong with taking a piece off the submission circle if you feel it's not working. But there's no such thing as a "dead" piece. Only "suspended animation." Set it aside for a week, a month, or even a year or longer. You'll be surprised when you come back to it and discover you can think of new ways to revive it.

Hang in there!!!!

Gina said...

You're so right Chris! I've never thought of it in that light and you just totally blew my mind. I enjoy writing and stopping is out of the question, so I should measure my success by the number of pieces published. Thanks so much for that!

Now, I'm also fairly new to the whole thing (as you already noticed), most of my rejections say "no, thank you" in more convoluted, polite ways but I haven't gotten any positive feedback with them. Do you? That would help a lot, really, if they could say "you're story sucks", or "it is great but not our style", or simply "not in our taste" that would give me an inkling of what's going on. So, if you're getting more than I am, please let me know how are you doing it!

Again, thanks for commenting. you're the best.

Jamie Gibbs said...

I like your attitude and way of handling it. I've been considering spending less time blogging and more time reading, but it always pulls me back :)

KarenG said...

Gina, Sounds like you are reacting very much like a writer who just got a rejection. I'm sure you will pop right out of it and be back writing!

Empty Nest Insider said...

Sorry you received such disappointing news. I envy you for pursuing your dream, and hopefully everything will work out soon. I know it's easier said than done, but your patience should pay off. Best of luck! Julie

Stephen Henry said...

I'm sure you'll succeed eventually. One story could change everything! said...

Your feelings are perfectly understandable. I don't mean to negate them when I say this but: eight stories in only two years? I think that's amazing! I suppose it's all relative and we are our harshest critics.

There are no right answers (how many more publishers to keep submitting to, etc.), except the answers you've already come to on your own.

Best wishes, and thanks for dropping by so I could readily do the same.

Pk Hrezo said...

Hi Gina! Yep, the rejections just add up and into a bowl of depression eventually. We all feel it, no matter where you are in the process. Sometimes I just distance myself from the pubbing world and enjoy the other parts of my life.

Jan Morrison said...

Hi Gina - I FORGOT it was time to be insecure! Oh the A to Zed ate my brain! Don't give up hope - you need to be rejected way more so you can realize that you write for you! You will be published again - the more you write the better you'll get. I wouldn't ever give up on a story - just don't stop writing too. I'm blathering! Thanks for stopping by my site - I liked your words...

Gina said...

First, I want to say to you all that I really appreciate your nice words and all the support I feel from the group. I love the IWSG because we really care and we really extend our hand to touch the one on the other side of the computer screen. It's nice having a support group like this. =)

Jaimie, yeah, I know the feeling. It's not the first time I decide to be quieter on the bloggosphere but this time I'm sticking to it. ;)

Karen, I know I'm letting the rejection get to me more than I should. I'll get back on my horse, I just need a day or two to get over the fall.

Julie, gee, you make me blush. I know patience is the name of the game. And perseverance and I have both, so I'm in it 'till the end. =) Best of luck to you, too!

Stephen, I wish I could feel that confident. But even though I doubt I will ever feel that sure, you can bet your hat that I'll keep trying until someone says yes. ;)

Rawknrobyn, we are our harshest critics indeed. I have a friend who has written ten novels in five years, hence me feeling like a slacker. Then again, I know everybody has to follow his own path and what works for one doesn't work for all. Thanks for your support!

PK, you're right. This is just part of the roller coaster that is our life as writers. Better times will come. =) Thanks!

Jan, I know! The A to Z is a lot to think about and I almost forgot about the IWSG, if it weren't for my rejection, that is. Thanks for the vote of confidence, I know I can only improve and that makes me happy.

You are all very special to me. Thanks for all the love.

Brianna said...

You've got a great attitude. I know the feeling of being grateful for publishing success but craving more! You can never be too rich, too thin or have too many pieces published.

Gina said...

Hahaha! You forgot about shoes, Brianna. You can never have too many shoes. =) Thanks for your comment and support.

Mary Aalgaard, Play off the Page said...

Some stories receive numerous rejections. Maybe it needs another look. Who knows? Follow your intuition. If you believe in the future of the story, never take "No" as a final answer. And, always keep writing something new.

Gina said...

Thanks for your kind words Mary. I do think that there are stories that are hard to sell and I'm feeling better now, ready to go back to punching keys. I will never stop, of that I'm sure. =)