You always hear how great writers are also great readers. Well, I haven't been abiding by that law for some time. It has always been a great scape of mine to read; I actually read my way out of my worst depression ever, and before having kids I used to read as much as five books a week. Admittedly, I did little else but read; I was single, on vacation (a half-year sabbatical), and with no friends in the city... so, things have changed... a little.
In previous posts I've told you all about my present hectic schedule and I'm not THAT crazy to believe I'll be able to make even a book a week; no, my goal is much more attainable: twelve books per year.
Of course I don't start january first: ready, set, go. I take it slowly and get 'party season' out of my system first, but eventually, I make my way to it. Now, another matter that can grind the whole thing to a stop is the selection of books. I gave it a lot of thought and after reading, twice, each Twilight book last year and nibble "The Host", unsuccessfully I must add; there were no "in" books that attracted me that much. So, this year I decided to start with the classics. You see, I'm Mexican, meaning I know something about Latin-American Literature but very little about English Literature.
There, I had my road plan. I started around end february with Jane Austen's "Pride and Prejudice", followed by Richard Matheson's "Hell House", back to Austen's "Sense and Sensibility" and presently I turned gears to J. K. Rowling's "H.P. and the Philosopher's Stone" in french. I figured, as long as I'm reading, I might as well go ahead and make my french teachers happy.
Four books... well, three books and a half, so far... not too shabby! I have to say, though, I'm finding Austen's stories not as compelling as I imagined them to be. I don't want to upset anyone but after hearing a lot about them, I found them a little slow. Too much beating around the bushes for my taste, and in the case of "Sense and Sensibility", not rewarding enough. However, I may have chosen exactly those who cater worst for myself and to get a better sense of her style, I'll read a couple more, or maybe all of them... call me a purist.
As for Matheson's "Hell House", I liked it a lot. I might be antiquated, but I happen to love classic haunted houses and ghost stories. This one gave me a couple of restless nights and in general was VERY entertaining. Since I'm a sucker for everything paranormal, I'm more or less up to date to the latest 'science' of investigating ghostly apparitions. This might have actually hindered my enjoyment of the story. It was written in the mid 70's and relies quite heavily on medium seances and 'ectoplasmic' production. Since these methods have long ago been proven a hoax, I found its constant presence a bit of a turn off and somewhat hard to block from my mind. Anyway, I hadn't came across a book that gave me nightmares since Stephen King's "The Shining" and it's a gratifying feeling.
What's next? Well, this is my plan as of today. After Harry Potter I'll go back to the english language with "Dorian Gray's Picture", probably Matheson's "Stir of Echoes", "Harry Potter and the Chaber of Secrets" (back to french), another Austen work, "Wuthering Heights"... and I'll figure where to go from there.
There are hundreds of books to chose from, and sometimes the amount of possibilities makes it real hard to take a decision. For this reason, whatever advise you could give me would be greatly appreciated. Remember, I'm trying to get a crush course in English and American Literature but I'm not an over-educated snub and my taste might be a bit too simple: great stories, simply written and great finales... Isn't that what we're all expecting? =D
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Friday, March 11, 2011
Chronic of a Predicted Death
"Where you gonna go?
Where you gonna run?
Where you gonna hide?
Nowhere
Cause there's no one... like you... left..."
Invasion of the body snatchers (1993)
It was coming, she could feel it in her skin. A tingling sensation running through her body. Her 'spidey sense' just recently acquired but fully alive telling her the end was close.
The body in front of her, half eaten; herself covered in blood. She wondered how had it come to this. Only a week ago, life was beautiful; perfect. She had been offered a full ride into one of the most prestigious universities of the country and her boyfriend of three years had finally popped the question. How could it go wrong?
The sensation became stronger, like a live wire connected to her veins telling her to run but she knew there was no escape.
Her best friend, Allison, had told her about a psychic; she begged her to go with her. In the beginning it had been fun. The woman was pleasant, chatty and good humoured. Allison had gone first. The typical questions, Who am I going to marry? Will I be successful? followed by the typical happy answers. You'll be greatly loved. Your hard work will pay off... You'll have 23 children and a house with white-picket fence... yadda, yadda.
Then it was her turn.
Will I be happy?
She had shuffled the cards and selected three. The first depicted a man laying on the floor with ten swords sunken in his back. The second, a hooded man standing in front of three overthrown cups with two more still standing behind him. The last one, that of a tower being hit by lightning, burning away with people falling from it.
Not too encouraging- She said, laughing nervously but soon fell silent when the ashen-faced lady looked at her.
I'm sorry but terrible changes are coming your way. There's nothing you can do to avoid it. Life as you know it, will cease to exist.
What- what do you mean 'cease to exist'?!- She had been surprised but most of all, upset; thinking the woman was making a cruel joke.
Don't fall pray to false starts, it'll condemn your soul-
She wondered what on earth the woman was talking about. Allison freaked out, grabbed her hand and pulled her toward the store's door.
The murderers are eating the flesh of the ones they killed-
This most definitely was too much, she turned to see the woman; in her face, two white marbles. Like clouds on a stormy day, they cleared little by little back to resemble human eyes. She turned back to Allison in panic and hurried to the door. When they were about to cross it the lady held her arm so strong it left a mark. In her normal voice she advised her, When the light comes, don't run from it. It'll set you free-
She released her arm and ran away to Allison's car as fast as her petite figure aloud her. Who would've thought how soon her words would ring true in her mind.
She looked at her hands and clothes. The blood was drying, making her skin feel flakey and uncomfortable. Her attacker casting a bright light shining in the horizon, just barely visible now but soon enough it'd reach her. Ignoring the corpse in front of her, she concentrated only in the dandelions that were to be her bed of death.
Two days after the readings she had been mugged; or at least that had been her first assumption. The thing had left her wounded but not dead and when she crawled up from under the little pedestrian bridge in Central Park where she had been robed of her life, nothing was the same. She felt different. She could feel things in a way she had never before. Her senses more alive than ever.
The moon had casted a silvery light on her and it felt so good. A late runner came in her direction, unable to see the figure standing under the night, crouching. It was a man listening to his ipod: Britney Spears. It was so loud she wondered if the man was deaf on top of lame. She had to fight the strong impulse to jump on him. She was so hungry! It had taken all her self control. From then on she had hid from human contact, sleeping through the day and walking through the night. Until last night.
She had been avoiding main highways, taking parkways where less people walked and more animals were available. Then a dumb kid lost his dog. He came out yelling its name without caring who else would hear him. He had walked past the woods and closer to her. After five days of walking and barely eating...
The sun was coming out. When the light comes, don't run from it. It'll set you free- She remembered, -It'll set you free-
Looking at the carcass in front of her she asked him for forgiveness. She closed her eyes and awaited her destiny.
By Georgina Morales
Where you gonna run?
Where you gonna hide?
Nowhere
Cause there's no one... like you... left..."
Invasion of the body snatchers (1993)
It was coming, she could feel it in her skin. A tingling sensation running through her body. Her 'spidey sense' just recently acquired but fully alive telling her the end was close.
The body in front of her, half eaten; herself covered in blood. She wondered how had it come to this. Only a week ago, life was beautiful; perfect. She had been offered a full ride into one of the most prestigious universities of the country and her boyfriend of three years had finally popped the question. How could it go wrong?
The sensation became stronger, like a live wire connected to her veins telling her to run but she knew there was no escape.
Her best friend, Allison, had told her about a psychic; she begged her to go with her. In the beginning it had been fun. The woman was pleasant, chatty and good humoured. Allison had gone first. The typical questions, Who am I going to marry? Will I be successful? followed by the typical happy answers. You'll be greatly loved. Your hard work will pay off... You'll have 23 children and a house with white-picket fence... yadda, yadda.
Then it was her turn.
Will I be happy?
She had shuffled the cards and selected three. The first depicted a man laying on the floor with ten swords sunken in his back. The second, a hooded man standing in front of three overthrown cups with two more still standing behind him. The last one, that of a tower being hit by lightning, burning away with people falling from it.
Not too encouraging- She said, laughing nervously but soon fell silent when the ashen-faced lady looked at her.
I'm sorry but terrible changes are coming your way. There's nothing you can do to avoid it. Life as you know it, will cease to exist.
What- what do you mean 'cease to exist'?!- She had been surprised but most of all, upset; thinking the woman was making a cruel joke.
Don't fall pray to false starts, it'll condemn your soul-
She wondered what on earth the woman was talking about. Allison freaked out, grabbed her hand and pulled her toward the store's door.
The murderers are eating the flesh of the ones they killed-
This most definitely was too much, she turned to see the woman; in her face, two white marbles. Like clouds on a stormy day, they cleared little by little back to resemble human eyes. She turned back to Allison in panic and hurried to the door. When they were about to cross it the lady held her arm so strong it left a mark. In her normal voice she advised her, When the light comes, don't run from it. It'll set you free-
She released her arm and ran away to Allison's car as fast as her petite figure aloud her. Who would've thought how soon her words would ring true in her mind.
She looked at her hands and clothes. The blood was drying, making her skin feel flakey and uncomfortable. Her attacker casting a bright light shining in the horizon, just barely visible now but soon enough it'd reach her. Ignoring the corpse in front of her, she concentrated only in the dandelions that were to be her bed of death.
Two days after the readings she had been mugged; or at least that had been her first assumption. The thing had left her wounded but not dead and when she crawled up from under the little pedestrian bridge in Central Park where she had been robed of her life, nothing was the same. She felt different. She could feel things in a way she had never before. Her senses more alive than ever.
The moon had casted a silvery light on her and it felt so good. A late runner came in her direction, unable to see the figure standing under the night, crouching. It was a man listening to his ipod: Britney Spears. It was so loud she wondered if the man was deaf on top of lame. She had to fight the strong impulse to jump on him. She was so hungry! It had taken all her self control. From then on she had hid from human contact, sleeping through the day and walking through the night. Until last night.
She had been avoiding main highways, taking parkways where less people walked and more animals were available. Then a dumb kid lost his dog. He came out yelling its name without caring who else would hear him. He had walked past the woods and closer to her. After five days of walking and barely eating...
The sun was coming out. When the light comes, don't run from it. It'll set you free- She remembered, -It'll set you free-
Looking at the carcass in front of her she asked him for forgiveness. She closed her eyes and awaited her destiny.
By Georgina Morales
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Sales Agent
A few weeks have gone by since my first novel was published. At first I had no idea of what to expect or how these things work; I was kind of expecting that adds would appear in magazines right away, there'd be critics posting its opinion in a few media and if I was really lucky, maybe doing an interview or a signing of books... you know what I mean: SELLING MY BOOK.
Well, as things work out, it is a lot slower than I thought. The adds that have been already paid are supposed to appear printed in march, a few copies will be send soon to specific targets like critics, news, magazines and small libraries; and a possible, and I repeat POSSIBLE signing of books might happen some time in august... a whole six months after the book's being available in libraries...
BTW, did I forget to tell you I live in Canada and my editor in Ohio??? Yeah, that's right. Now I'm confronted with a situation in which I have to find the time to learn how to promote a book on my own and learn the ropes not only of a writer, but as my own agent here in Montreal. All these of course, when like everybody else, the one thing I have not is TIME. Anyway, there's agencies that are dedicated to this but the other thing I don't have is money; and then, here I am looking through several newspapers trying to figure out who should I call and how should I let them know about my novel. Trust me, it'd be a daunting task for the ablest and I'm the kind of person who is unable to sell water in the desert. What more can I say but: HELP! Anyone out there that could lend me a hand or that has any ideas as to where to go or who to call, I'll be forever in your debt.
I hope little by little word of mouth will mount up as more people in the real world gets in contact with the book; and as my Publishing House grows, it will bring more exposition to the novel. With a bit of luck I'll get out of this not with a bestseller, but with a decent-seller and a lot more knowledge. Wish me luck!
Well, as things work out, it is a lot slower than I thought. The adds that have been already paid are supposed to appear printed in march, a few copies will be send soon to specific targets like critics, news, magazines and small libraries; and a possible, and I repeat POSSIBLE signing of books might happen some time in august... a whole six months after the book's being available in libraries...
BTW, did I forget to tell you I live in Canada and my editor in Ohio??? Yeah, that's right. Now I'm confronted with a situation in which I have to find the time to learn how to promote a book on my own and learn the ropes not only of a writer, but as my own agent here in Montreal. All these of course, when like everybody else, the one thing I have not is TIME. Anyway, there's agencies that are dedicated to this but the other thing I don't have is money; and then, here I am looking through several newspapers trying to figure out who should I call and how should I let them know about my novel. Trust me, it'd be a daunting task for the ablest and I'm the kind of person who is unable to sell water in the desert. What more can I say but: HELP! Anyone out there that could lend me a hand or that has any ideas as to where to go or who to call, I'll be forever in your debt.
I hope little by little word of mouth will mount up as more people in the real world gets in contact with the book; and as my Publishing House grows, it will bring more exposition to the novel. With a bit of luck I'll get out of this not with a bestseller, but with a decent-seller and a lot more knowledge. Wish me luck!
Friday, February 11, 2011
Inspiration
When I tell people I'm a writer there's one question that sooner or later will get out of their mouths and that's: "Where do you get your inspiration?" This has to be the most common question a writer gets and I bet at some point it must turn pretty tiresome. Most writers have a "scripted" answer that they'll regurgitate at parties or interviews but in my case, having very few works to my name, sometimes the question really sends me into thinking for an honest answer.
Case in point, the other day a guy not only asked me the famous question but also added something to the effect of: "I guess you're always thinking of horrible things and expecting things to go bad; killing people in your mind or seeing ghost everywhere, don't you? Always surrounded by darkness"
WOW. I was flabbergasted. It's true that I write about awful things but that's not what's popping into my mind when I'm talking to a friend; it's not like I'm thinking -Wouldn't it be great if her head exploded right now?- C'mon people! So where do I get my ideas??
Well, I like to think that like most adults I ponder things and think about the worst case scenario. Kids in general, but primarily teens will decide to do things without much thinking about consequences; that things can go wrong and cause some life-altering events is not ingrained in their minds. Adults, on the other hand will always think about this, or at least they're supposed to do.
If a friend is telling me about this stupid thing she did when she was younger, I will think about those consequences and throw into the mix something that scares me. I think that what makes a story scary is the human possibilities; is thinking it can happen to us, is throwing through the window every safety net our society provides us and look for the chaos that ensues; the common things are our blanky and where they're pulled off our hands, it sends us into panic. It's for these reasons that I always develop the human aspect of a story, the characters, their motivations, what scares them; and only when that is established and the basic story is enough to give me the creeps, will I think of a supernatural turn of events and add it to the plot.
The supernatural event is the easiest part because it lurks everywhere. Who doesn't love a great ghost story? There are THOUSANDS of sites dedicated to spread the word about "real" haunted places, haunted people, ghost pictures; and if that's not enough every other person out there knows a story, personal or otherwise. I, myself, have my own experiences, most of them product of a young scary feverish mind but there are a couple that even to this day baffle me. So there you go, not at a lost for inspiration in this area but also not the easiest to find an original twist; which sends us back to what I call the "Human Aspect".
A ghost story is a ghost story and most of them are formulaic; it's very rare to find a different one. Think about "The Shining"; it's pretty much the story of a haunted hotel with ghost terrorizing the leading characters... not that we haven't seen that before. Now, think about the backstory, how the alcoholic father is fighting his personal demons of frustration (he's unable to write a new novel) and shame (for being an alcoholic and for breaking his son's arm in a fit); how the son and the mother create this little world of their own in the aftermath of surviving the abuse of a sick and cruel father and husband... it sounds a lot better, right? It's the human side of the characters and how we relate to them that drives the story and when you add ghosts you think -Gee, what other horrible thing will they have to go through!-
There it is, in a nutshell, how I conceive my stories. It is always based in what frightens me and if at least once in the process of writing it I get a nightmare, I know I'm in the right path.
Case in point, the other day a guy not only asked me the famous question but also added something to the effect of: "I guess you're always thinking of horrible things and expecting things to go bad; killing people in your mind or seeing ghost everywhere, don't you? Always surrounded by darkness"
WOW. I was flabbergasted. It's true that I write about awful things but that's not what's popping into my mind when I'm talking to a friend; it's not like I'm thinking -Wouldn't it be great if her head exploded right now?- C'mon people! So where do I get my ideas??
Well, I like to think that like most adults I ponder things and think about the worst case scenario. Kids in general, but primarily teens will decide to do things without much thinking about consequences; that things can go wrong and cause some life-altering events is not ingrained in their minds. Adults, on the other hand will always think about this, or at least they're supposed to do.
If a friend is telling me about this stupid thing she did when she was younger, I will think about those consequences and throw into the mix something that scares me. I think that what makes a story scary is the human possibilities; is thinking it can happen to us, is throwing through the window every safety net our society provides us and look for the chaos that ensues; the common things are our blanky and where they're pulled off our hands, it sends us into panic. It's for these reasons that I always develop the human aspect of a story, the characters, their motivations, what scares them; and only when that is established and the basic story is enough to give me the creeps, will I think of a supernatural turn of events and add it to the plot.
The supernatural event is the easiest part because it lurks everywhere. Who doesn't love a great ghost story? There are THOUSANDS of sites dedicated to spread the word about "real" haunted places, haunted people, ghost pictures; and if that's not enough every other person out there knows a story, personal or otherwise. I, myself, have my own experiences, most of them product of a young scary feverish mind but there are a couple that even to this day baffle me. So there you go, not at a lost for inspiration in this area but also not the easiest to find an original twist; which sends us back to what I call the "Human Aspect".
A ghost story is a ghost story and most of them are formulaic; it's very rare to find a different one. Think about "The Shining"; it's pretty much the story of a haunted hotel with ghost terrorizing the leading characters... not that we haven't seen that before. Now, think about the backstory, how the alcoholic father is fighting his personal demons of frustration (he's unable to write a new novel) and shame (for being an alcoholic and for breaking his son's arm in a fit); how the son and the mother create this little world of their own in the aftermath of surviving the abuse of a sick and cruel father and husband... it sounds a lot better, right? It's the human side of the characters and how we relate to them that drives the story and when you add ghosts you think -Gee, what other horrible thing will they have to go through!-
There it is, in a nutshell, how I conceive my stories. It is always based in what frightens me and if at least once in the process of writing it I get a nightmare, I know I'm in the right path.
Friday, February 4, 2011
Writer's block?
So, after all that talking I finally got to work on my latest story: a short horror story called (so far) "Feast Day" based on an anecdote a couple of friends had on Italy. When I first began working on it a month ago or so it all felt very organic; you know, the process of adapting the story and researching for a supernatural twist that was ingrained in italian folklore, of which I know nothing. It wasn't at all hard and after an evening or two of reading everything that came my way I found the perfect place and set of customs to use as a base for the tale; I even wrote a few paragraphs... great!
Along came french mid-terms and Christmas; out the door went every chance to move forward the work. I didn't worry much, trusting that the rough of the work was already done and I had a pretty clear idea of where I wanted the story to go. Winter-break, finally! The best was having the kids in school since that would give me more time to finish my work. Monday came and I sent my girls to school, hurried up with my chores and sat in front of my laptop only to realize my mind was blank. All those ideas I had were still there, of course, but I couldn't find the right words if my life depended on it. Damn! With GREAT effort I managed to write some 700 wds, shameful...
Tuesday I had to take the kids to gym practice in the evening so I woke up early and sat at my 'desk' without bothering about cleaning the house. After thinking a lot and struggling with the kind of line suited the story best, I managed to reconnect with my characters; yay! Around 1500 wds, good...
Wednesday represented another struggle, it took me like three hours to find the story again. Thursday was even worse... kid's gym, again. So here I am, friday, my last day of vacation and 3400 wds of not so decent prose. I don't think this is technically "writer's block" but sure as hell feels like it. I don't know why I've had such a hard time connecting with the characters and I don't know if it will turn out to be a good story but I feel like I have to stick to my guns and finish it; to see it through and maybe when getting to the second draft I'll have a better sense of what to do with it.
Somewhere I remember I read something to the effect that if you leave a draft untouched for a month, the story is dead and you'll never be able to retake it; maybe they were right. Cross your fingers for me and I'll keep you posted!
Along came french mid-terms and Christmas; out the door went every chance to move forward the work. I didn't worry much, trusting that the rough of the work was already done and I had a pretty clear idea of where I wanted the story to go. Winter-break, finally! The best was having the kids in school since that would give me more time to finish my work. Monday came and I sent my girls to school, hurried up with my chores and sat in front of my laptop only to realize my mind was blank. All those ideas I had were still there, of course, but I couldn't find the right words if my life depended on it. Damn! With GREAT effort I managed to write some 700 wds, shameful...
Tuesday I had to take the kids to gym practice in the evening so I woke up early and sat at my 'desk' without bothering about cleaning the house. After thinking a lot and struggling with the kind of line suited the story best, I managed to reconnect with my characters; yay! Around 1500 wds, good...
Wednesday represented another struggle, it took me like three hours to find the story again. Thursday was even worse... kid's gym, again. So here I am, friday, my last day of vacation and 3400 wds of not so decent prose. I don't think this is technically "writer's block" but sure as hell feels like it. I don't know why I've had such a hard time connecting with the characters and I don't know if it will turn out to be a good story but I feel like I have to stick to my guns and finish it; to see it through and maybe when getting to the second draft I'll have a better sense of what to do with it.
Somewhere I remember I read something to the effect that if you leave a draft untouched for a month, the story is dead and you'll never be able to retake it; maybe they were right. Cross your fingers for me and I'll keep you posted!
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
So Funny I Had to Share It
As I was wasting my time looking for inspiration through the internet, I came across this letter and could do nothing but laugh. Although I'm not certain of its origins, it claims to be written by an actual Procter and Gamble costumer, as well as being PC Magazine's 2007 editors' choice for best webmail-award-winning letter. Whatever the truth, I decided to share it with you. Laugh and have a happy day my friends!
Dear Mr. Thatcher,
I have been a loyal user of your 'Always' maxi pads for over 20 years and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard Core or Dri-Weave absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants.
Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from 'the curse'? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my time of the month is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call 'an inbred hillbilly with knife skills.' Isn't the human body amazing?
As Brand Manager in the Feminine-Hygiene Division, you've no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customer's monthly visits from 'Aunt Flo'. Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying jags, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it's a tough time for most women. In fact, only last week, my friend Jennifer fought the viole nt urge to shove her boyfriend's testicles into a George Foreman Grill just because he told her he thought Grey's Anatomy was written by drunken chimps. Crazy!
The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants... Which brings me to the reason for my letter. Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi-pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: 'Have a Happy Period.'
Are you f------ kidding me? What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness - actual smiling, laughing happiness, is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak, there will never be anything 'happy' about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlua and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the local Walgreen's armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory.
For the love of God, pull your head out, man! If you have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent, like 'Put down the Hammer' or 'Vehicular Manslaughter is Wrong', or are you just picking on us?
Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flex-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bullshit. And that's a promise I will keep.
Always. . .
Wendi Aarons
Austin , T X
Dear Mr. Thatcher,
I have been a loyal user of your 'Always' maxi pads for over 20 years and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard Core or Dri-Weave absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants.
Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from 'the curse'? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my time of the month is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call 'an inbred hillbilly with knife skills.' Isn't the human body amazing?
As Brand Manager in the Feminine-Hygiene Division, you've no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customer's monthly visits from 'Aunt Flo'. Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying jags, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it's a tough time for most women. In fact, only last week, my friend Jennifer fought the viole nt urge to shove her boyfriend's testicles into a George Foreman Grill just because he told her he thought Grey's Anatomy was written by drunken chimps. Crazy!
The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants... Which brings me to the reason for my letter. Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi-pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: 'Have a Happy Period.'
Are you f------ kidding me? What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness - actual smiling, laughing happiness, is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak, there will never be anything 'happy' about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlua and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the local Walgreen's armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory.
For the love of God, pull your head out, man! If you have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent, like 'Put down the Hammer' or 'Vehicular Manslaughter is Wrong', or are you just picking on us?
Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flex-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bullshit. And that's a promise I will keep.
Always. . .
Wendi Aarons
Austin , T X
Saturday, January 15, 2011
New Year, Great News
So, after all those days of eating and partying (in that order), we're back to "normal". I had great holidays and I hope the same was for you. My vacations came and went without me noticing it and not much writing was accomplished but a few new ideas came to mind that I have put them in rough, so there was something; but really 2011 has started in the best of ways. First: ISOLATION: AN ANTHOLOGY OF NEW HORROR FICTION is already selling through amazon. As you know this contains my first story to be published and I'm beyond excited to see my name next to the word "Author". The other amazing news is that Post Mortem Press decided to go ahead and publish my other story: PERPETUAL NIGHT as a stand-alone short novel which is great! Remember I thought that story would go nowhere? Well, this was a surprise.
As you may have noticed, short stories don't delve too much into interactions between characters or background stories as the writer has to watch his wordage; it is a 'story-driven' genre. Novels on the other hand, depend greatly on the development of their characters and interactions between them to generate a bond between the reader and the protagonist that will keep you, the reader, invested in the story. Novels are 'character-driven' stories. This means that, in order to make PERPETUAL NIGHT available to be published as a short novel, some transformations had to take place. I increased the wordage, obviously, but the most important thing was to develop the characters and give them more background explaining more about their motivations and the consequences of their acts. These changes turned out to be a little complicated as new story lines appeared and I had to make them fit into a series of actions already written; I re-read the story a hundred more times and ended a bit tired of going back to the same pages to tune up details that now didn't seem natural. It also made me realize how complicated it must be to go through the task of editing and re-editing a WHOLE novel, I mean a normal one with 150 000 words. Boy, that's scary!
All in all, I am really happy of being able to start the year in such a happy note but more than ever I know how far I am from mastering the tools I need to complete my novel. It's overwhelming but I also feel more confident in my ability and know that with the help of some good courses in Creative Writing in some reputable University I'll be able to sort my way.
Have an amazing weekend, everybody, and don't forget to buy the book! Here are the links were you can find it and wait for PERPETUAL NIGHT in late february or early March.
www.postmortem-press.com/
www.amazon.com/Isolation-Anthology-New-Horror-Fiction
As you may have noticed, short stories don't delve too much into interactions between characters or background stories as the writer has to watch his wordage; it is a 'story-driven' genre. Novels on the other hand, depend greatly on the development of their characters and interactions between them to generate a bond between the reader and the protagonist that will keep you, the reader, invested in the story. Novels are 'character-driven' stories. This means that, in order to make PERPETUAL NIGHT available to be published as a short novel, some transformations had to take place. I increased the wordage, obviously, but the most important thing was to develop the characters and give them more background explaining more about their motivations and the consequences of their acts. These changes turned out to be a little complicated as new story lines appeared and I had to make them fit into a series of actions already written; I re-read the story a hundred more times and ended a bit tired of going back to the same pages to tune up details that now didn't seem natural. It also made me realize how complicated it must be to go through the task of editing and re-editing a WHOLE novel, I mean a normal one with 150 000 words. Boy, that's scary!
All in all, I am really happy of being able to start the year in such a happy note but more than ever I know how far I am from mastering the tools I need to complete my novel. It's overwhelming but I also feel more confident in my ability and know that with the help of some good courses in Creative Writing in some reputable University I'll be able to sort my way.
Have an amazing weekend, everybody, and don't forget to buy the book! Here are the links were you can find it and wait for PERPETUAL NIGHT in late february or early March.
www.postmortem-press.com/
www.amazon.com/Isolation-Anthology-New-Horror-Fiction
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