Another Insecure Writer's Rant

I took a long time from my writing duties as I escaped back into the arms of vacation. After two years, I went to visit family and friends in Mexico City where I found the city's traffic impossible and the problems of the city much of the same. I enjoyed the company of many members of my family who don't have the means to visit us in the US and the girls had a huge dose of pampers that will cost me years to undo, but hey, what are grandparents for if not to spoil their grandkids?

All in all it was an awesome trip that we as a family deserved. We even got a cute little addition to our family in the form of an adorable two month old beagle the kids named Luna. It was all worth it and from the most unexpected of places I also won a life lesson I won't be forgetting anytime soon.

Luna and the two cutest monsters you'll ever meet.

You've all heard how the insecurity is in Mexico, how dangerous it is, how unsafe. Well, I'm Mexican and I thought I was above feeling insecure in my own house. I thought I was above having to look where I was going into, or looking above my shoulders. I refused to give in to those alarmist reports and brazenly stepped into areas my own compatriots warned me against. I was this close to pay dearly for that mistake and I risked the lives of those I love the most. I won't go into the details of it, it'll take us way too long and off course of my point. I'll just give you the basic setting: It was both of my parents, my two girls, and me on an SUV trying to escape a sports car with two armed men bent on getting us. All on a small highway about four hours from the city. Let's just say I haven't been more scared in my life and I've never seen the barrel of a gun up so close.

I don't blame Mexico's situation, not even the drug cartels, I blame me and my hardheadedness. I should have known better that to risk my family's safety just to spite those who call my country a dangerous one. Sadly, they are right.

Anyway, the reason why I bring this up for our monthly Insecure Writer's Support meeting is because it made me reflect a lot about my life and my priorities. I've complained in the past for not having enough time to dedicate to my writing, for having way too much to do with two very young kids in the house. Well, in that split moment when I feared at least one member of my family would die, my writing was the one thing that din't flash before my eyes. I thought about not seeing my kids grow old, about living without my parents, about my husband being alone to raise our girls, but my already published book, its lack of outstanding sells, and the numerous pieces I'm working on didn't even register in my mind.

So many of us spend so much time unhappy about the state of our writing career that we loose sight of how important are the things taking most of our time! I do love writing, but I want my epitaph to say "Loving Mother and Wife" not "Dedicated Writer". Think about this, where your heart truly lies, and next time you feel depressed because of how little your career has advanced, picture that epitaph on your grave. What will it say? What do you want it to say?